What happens to a church of 15,000 that has a strict autocrat as a pastor with a limited accountability structure? It’s the same thing that happens to a church of 150: they self-destruct. (1)

Autocratic leadership centralizes authority in the leader. We describe autocratic leaders as arbitrary, dictatorial, domineering, tyrannical, all-powerful, bossy, driving, and monocratic. In short, it is a command and control style that is motivated by power and pride. This isn't how Jesus led.

Mike Cosper and Christianity Today have released four segments of the podcast, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. I am interested in it for two reasons. First, I desire healthy, gospel-shaped leadership in the local church. My forthcoming book, The Gospel Shaped Leader, releases on August 30 through New Growth Press. My opening paragraph urges a new kind of church leadership--one drawn from Scripture and Jesus--because the way many churches are doing it is not working. Mars Hill is an exaggerated example of how autocratic leadership can destroy a church. Second, I was there at Mars Hill Church.

Many friends reached out to me since the podcast began four weeks ago and wondered about my reaction to it. The following is my response.

The Lord Led Me to Acts 29

I attended a small Acts 29 Bootcamp in 2002 at Mars Hill Church. Mark Driscoll and I hit it off immediately, and we were best friends for ten years. Well, nine years, 11 months, and two weeks. The last two weeks were rough. Our replanted church in Denver became the 23rd member church in the fledgling Acts 29 Network. Without hesitation, I cannonballed into the deep end. This small band of “brothers on mission together” connected, collaborated, and committed. I led the replanting segment of the network and then joined the board in 2004.

In 2005, the board asked me to become the director of the network. So, my wife and two teenage boys moved from Denver to Seattle to join Acts 29 and Mars Hill Church. Acts 29 and Mars Hill were intertwined--for good and bad. We experienced some of the most fruitful and joy-filled years of ministry. I was a perfect fit to shepherd the A29 pastors. I became the President of A29 in 2010, and the Lord gave us many church planters all over the world.

I Loved the Mission of Mars Hill Church

I was the first “outside” pastor/elder of Mars Hill. Out of conviction, the church raised all of the previous elders from within the church. You can imagine the confusion upon discarding their conviction. I stood (alone) in the middle of that arbitrary decision. As an outsider of Mars Hill, I didn’t fit the typical mold. I didn’t like indy or punk rock, plaid shirts, skinny jeans, or beer. I approached pastoral ministry with gentleness instead of angst. I brought a different pastoral perspective that didn’t salute the Nirvana poster in the staff hallway. Nevertheless, I became one of the infamous Executive Elders.

The EE formation was ground zero for some initial drama that led to two elders’ wrongful investigation and controversial resignation. I regret not speaking up, and 18 former elders issued a public letter of apology. 

It Will Implode

Acts 29 moved to Dallas in 2012, and I left Mars Hill. The last thing I said to the lead pastor was, “Mars Hill will implode if it continues in its current trajectory.” But I didn’t think it would happen within two years. At the end of September 2014, the church elders investigated "bullying" and "patterns of persistent sinful behavior" by the lead pastor. The church elders crafted a restoration plan to help the pastor and save the church. Instead, the pastor declined the restoration plan and resigned. Mars Hill Church, once a church of 15,000 people in 5 states, dissolved on Dec. 31, 2014. (2)

Who’s Responsible?

Cosper’s initial podcast asked the question, “Who Killed Mars Hill?” The answer is the pastors and elders, the Board of Directors, the EE, the staff, the congregation that supported it, and the network. We can’t focus on one person. We are all guilty. The common question posed to former Mars Hill elders is, “Why didn’t you stop it?”

Stop what?

Mars Hill Church made what I would describe as a complete 180-degree turn to become what it was in 2014. But there wasn’t a big event, sin, or moral indiscretion. Instead, it was like there were 180 indiscernible one-degree shifts over 18 years of existence.

I am grateful I was there. I have deep scars from my experience, but I am better because of it. The Lord is redeeming the pain (Joel 2:26). 

I pray that I will always follow the Good Shepherd’s example and not become an autocratic leader. Autocrats use people to get what they want. Gospel-shaped leaders lay down their lives daily for the good of those they are leading. So did Jesus.

________________

(1) A strict autocrat relies on negative influences and gives orders which must be obeyed by the subordinates without question. His method of influencing subordinate behavior is through negative motivation by imposing penalties, criticizing subordinates, etc.

(2) See Seattle PI Blog

My friend resigned from his church as the lead pastor when he refused to lie to the church at the elders’ request. They wanted him to hide the real reason the elders fired a staff person. This pastor is no longer in ministry. The board of elders cared more about their reputation than they did for holiness. They took a short-cut and harmed the congregation.

Psychologists describe bullying as physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. It always involves a power imbalance. Leaders use any force at their disposal to dominate another in a way that makes one miserable. Victims become depressed and doubt their self-worth. They resign from important positions in the church, and some leave the church for good.

Spiritual abusers leverage their position of religious authority to hurt a vulnerable person. They stress their power and importance to prey upon the weak. Their actions, though deplorable, are secondary to their motivation to subjugate people to their power. This abuse extends from leaders to people and from boards to leaders. They gratify themselves by conquering others.

I saw a Christian leader bully his senior staff and tear them down to the point of tears. He often made fun of their weight, ethnic characteristics, and abilities. He belittled the outward appearance of a staff member’s spouse. He even dared to joke about the mental capacity of one of the staff member’s sons.

Scripture admonishes us not to consider ourselves above others (Phil. 2:3). A tyrant has no boundaries as long as he perceives it benefits his cause and standing. Bullies empty others of their dignity and value. But Jesus empties himself for others (Phil. 2:7). In a humble state, Jesus took on the form of a servant to obey God and give us life (Phil. 2:3-11).

We either empty ourselves daily, or we will become full of ourselves.

Last week an investigation revealed that another ministry leader fell, bringing up three questions for me.

1. What Do We Know?

External investigators looked at partial records of the late Ravi Zacharias. It’s painful to read. Their documents revealed an immense amount of sexual abuse. He preyed on vulnerable women, with some of it facilitated by ministry funds.  

Before this incident, we have had other Christian leaders disqualify themselves. A church leader is a person of trust. It demands greater accountability for our actions.

God speaks about how disgraceful it is for a shepherd to misuse their roles and hurt the sheep. He points out how these “shepherds” preyed on their sheep for the leader's benefit (Ezek. 34:2-5). 

2. Will Safeguards Prevent This from Happening Again?

Integrity is the most critical asset of a church leader. Without integrity, leaders are tools of Satan inside the ministry. 

I have heard suggestions to apply the Billy Graham Rule to avoid sexual immorality. Adherents do not travel, meet or eat alone with a person of the opposite gender other than their spouse. 

Some suggest regular monitoring of leaders’ electronics. Zacharias refused to have accountability with his electronic devices. The investigation found over 200 images of young women, some that showed the women naked. 

We can’t count on external “safeguards” to heal inner wickedness. Jesus says, “The evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). An evil heart and mind, indiscernible to the external eye, will do wrong things. External tools will only deter honest leaders. 

Leaders dive headfirst down a steep moral cliff when they sin without repentance. That will end in brokenness and shame. A leader’s sin does not always need public exposure. We pray a single broken relationship or sinful act can trigger repentance. A leader’s sin always hurts others. 

3. What is the Gospel Application?

Hiding sin is not self-management; it is self-deception. But we don’t have to remain in shame and guilt. We can turn through repentance and receive the cleansing of our heart and renewal of our spirit. David began to lead others after he had a clean heart (Ps. 51:1-13). Without a clear conscience, we cannot teach others with power. 

Satan is a roaring lion seeking to devour church leaders (1 Peter 5:8). Jesus says, Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will scatter (Matt. 26:31). The more significant deterrent to a leader's sin is not Covenant Eyes but a holy heart.

Holiness is the ability to submit mind, will, and emotions to the Spirit’s desires and not to the flesh’s desires (Gal. 5:16-26). Holy leaders allow the gospel to shape them over time (Phil. 1:27) through the power of the Spirit (Rom. 8:4-11) as they confess their sins and acknowledge their weaknesses (1 John 1:7-9). Holy leaders strive to renew their minds that lead to transformed lives (Rom. 12:1-2). Holy leaders confess their sins to one another resulting in gospel-shaped healing (James 5:16).

We need a new way of leading our churches and ministries. It starts with repentance.

In the last 12 months, I have experienced:

Skepticism

     Frustration

        Anger

           Cynicism

              Loneliness

                 Temptation

                     Fear

                        Exhaustion

                           Anxiety

                               Insecurity

                                  Rejection

                                     Abandonment

                                        Hope

Yes, hope.

This year, I am asking God to "restore me to health and make me live!" (Isaiah 38:16).

I don't want to survive. I want to live!

My hope is in God, who resurrected his Son, Jesus, from the dead. This is the ultimate hope for us. Isaiah reminds us of this hope we have in Jesus (Isaiah 53:5):

      He was pierced for our transgressions.

         He was crushed for our iniquities.

            Upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace.

               And with his wounds, we are healed.

In 2021, we don't have to wallow like a pig in our misery when Someone already took our suffering for us.

In exchange for his chastisement and wounds, we can receive peace and healing.

We have hope. Heal us, Lord!

Be encouraged. The end of 2020 is near, or is it?

Even with a vaccine on the horizon, it’s not over yet. 2020 will extend into 2021, way into the year.

Church leaders may resign due to sheer exhaustion. Long-time members are quitting unexpectedly, and the church is dividing on anything that sounds remotely plausible. 

We survived church culture wars in the past. But 2020 has been ruthless. We have had riots, political division, bombing, police shut-downs, and no NHL for many months. Okay, maybe that’s wasn't so bad. But this current church war includes a virus that won’t go away. It has been a flurry of gut punches for many church leaders.

So, at the end of Pandember 2020, why don’t we rest on Romans 15:13:

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” 

1. God is the source of hope because he is hope. A vaccine, political leaders, and stimulus checks are not our hope. The God of hope is what we desperately need.
2. God fills us with joy and peace. He doesn’t use an eye-dropper. He overflows us.
3. God fills us with all joy and peace. Read what it says. He fills us with all so that we abound. The God of hope is not stingy.
4. He gives us joy and peace as we believe in him. You may not have felt joy and peace in 2020, but you can believe he provides it. 
5. Your gas tank may be empty, and that’s when the Holy Spirit can step in and fill you so that you abound in hope. 
6. He alone is your hope. If you can’t find your joy, the Spirit will step in and help you to abound in hope. Let the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace.

I can't wait for 2020 to end, but I need this verse for closure so that I can start with a hopeful heart in 2021.

John Calvin wrote an eerily relevant treatise more than 450 years ago about the church's need for reformation. He said, "those who preside in the Church ought to excel others, and shine by their example of a holier life." He repeatedly pointed to four sins of a church leader's life that needed reform. 

1. Greed
2. Pride
3. Cruelty
4. Whoredom

The point of Gospelleader.com is to call for a change in the way we lead the church. And, as Calvin posited, it is not a new way but a reformation back to the way Scripture, the gospel, the Apostles, and Jesus urged.

Greed

I don't find a lot of information about the sin of greed among church leaders. But it is rampant. It isn't commonly about money, although that exists. It is often about the insatiable "more syndrome." Leaders insist they need more money, more people, more building space, more staff, more sites, more retweets, more notoriety, and so forth. I am all for making disciples of every nation (Matt. 28:18-20), but we must check our motivation. Is it greed or gospel? Twice, Paul calls greed idolatry (Eph. 5:5; Col. 3:5), and he grabs the reader's attention by doing so. Idolatry is worshiping or aspiring for anything above God, which breaks the first two commandments, and that's is not a good thing. Greed is loving earthly accomplishments and treasures above heavenly treasure. Elders are not to be greedy for gain (Titus 1:7) or motivated by any shameful gain (1 Peter 5:2b). We are all prone to this temptation. But as a church leader, you must be on guard for the motivation of greed. 

Pride

Humility may be the least emphasized virtue, but it is foundational to all virtues, especially among leaders (Titus 1:7). Calvin said, "Pride such as this, what is it but a fatal intoxication of soul? For instead of Christ, they adore themselves, and dream of possessing life while they are immersed in the profound abyss of death." Calvin admitted that his language was strong but was fighting against where pride leads: that "we are reconciled to God by the satisfaction of good works, and not by a gratuitous remission of sins." It's subtle but destructive.

Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5). You are not able to do some things or most things or even one thing. Apart from Jesus, you can do no thing.

Cruelty

Cruelty is a word Calvin used that I was not expecting. He mentioned it five times in the treatise. It is contrary to the heart of Jesus to use brashness, force, and shame to lead people (1 Peter 5:3). Yet, it is practiced way too often.  It is time we point people to the gentle and lowly shepherd by our words, attitudes, and actions (Matthew 11:28). There is no biblical allowance for bullying in the church. In the last few years, churches have fired some notable pastors for bullying, and that's a start, but the church needs further repentance. Bullying also exists in the form of sarcasm and belittling joking (Eph. 4:29), and it directs others away from Christ.

Whoredom

Calvin used whoredom, a striking word to describe sexual immorality (Greek, porneia). He used the word lust four times in his treatise. He said, "How many [church leaders], pray, are free from whoredom? Nay, how many of their houses are infamous for daily acts of lewdness? How many honorable families do they defile by their vagabond lusts." He described the hearts of immoral church leaders as a furnace of lust and have given Satan the loose reins of their lusts. Paul set the standard for elders to be a man of one woman (1 Tim. 3:2).

Before the church can experience reformation, its leaders need reformation. Leaders are not tyrannical dominators of souls, as Calvin put it, but godly ambassadors for Christ to its members. 

This taught me two things: it's not that hard to honor others, and we are all drawn to encouragement. I wonder why leaders don't practice honor and encouragement more often. I have had multiple leaders in my life that rarely said anything encouraging to me. Is that characteristic of you? It's not too late to change.

"Outdo one another in showing honor" does not leave room for encouragement in moderation. No one ever complains about too much encouragement. Let it fly in excess. It doesn't cost you anything but failing to encourage costs you the joy of providing hope to someone.

Encouragement is seen, heard, felt, and experienced by the other person.

I ran across an article, "How to encourage yourself when no one else will." That's a sad state of being. Showing honor is demonstrative. Honor is not thinking warm thoughts about someone. That's nice but not helpful. Encouragement is seen, heard, felt, and experienced by the other person. Lavish it upon others. Contrary to a false belief, it won't make them proud.

Honor is rooted in the mercy of God (Romans 12:1). Jesus honored us by leaving Heaven, taking the form of a human, living, dying, resurrecting, and ascending for us. And one day, He will be returning to take us as His bride. We don't deserve the honor He exudes upon us, but that's the point of the gospel.

Your encouragement of others can highlight the gospel. Don't just preach the gospel on Sunday. Preach it every day by encouraging others.

I have worked alongside leaders who forgot the vital gospel principle of leaving their self-interests aside for others’ good. When you become consumed with yourself, the gospel has little room to work through you.

Narcissus, a Greek mythological figure, distinguished for his beauty, fell in love with his reflection in the still waters of a spring, and killed himself because he could not have himself. Some leaders are motivated by their self-glorifying success. It results in an excessive ambition and drive and can result in narcissism—a social epidemic of our day.

Narcissism is a personality trait encompassing grandiosity, arrogance, self-absorption, entitlement, fragile self-esteem, and hostility. Narcissistic leaders have grandiose belief systems and leadership styles and are generally motivated by their needs for power and admiration rather than empathetic concern for the constituents and institutions they lead.[1]

I witnessed several leaders self-destruct with narcissistic behaviors. Some believed they deserved sexual pleasure outside of marriage or money belonging to the ministry. Some led with a bully mentality utilizing fear, shame, and false accusations as their weapons to build a self-centered platform. A gospel leader is not a celebrity; is not the center of attention; draws no attention to self; is not boastful.

Jesus' words speak directly to the narcissistic tendency inside all leaders, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it” (Mark 8:35). Gospel leaders leave the natural man buried in the grave and are raised to walk in the newness of life (Romans 6:3-5; 2 Cor. 5:17).

Gospel leadership is all about leading the church toward Jesus. If you lead others toward yourself, your style, preaching, network, denomination, or church, then the gospel is distorted.

[1] Seth A. Rosenthal, Todd L. Pittinsky, “Narcissistic Leadership.” The Leadership Quarterly Vol. 17, 6 (2006): 617-633. Accessed October 08, 2020.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2006.10.005

Fight for Intimacy with God

Spiritual intimacy with God is a common struggle for many Christian leaders. It is a daily fight for me. Most days, I do not feel worthy of God’s love. I employ spiritual disciplines to help advance my spiritual growth. These act as starting points, but alone, are insufficient to embrace the love and grace of God altogether. I must see that God delights to use an inadequate weak person like me for His glory.

I have experienced rejection from people close to me and it profoundly affects my relationships with them. I fight to remain vulnerable because I don’t like the pain that rejection evokes. I am now aware that broken friendships cause a visceral emotion within me. It overwhelms me when conflicts arise, even if I am not involved. It is easier to remain silent, but it doesn’t accomplish the necessary gospel work in me or others. Rejection will happen again, but I can’t let that generate paralyzing fear of entering into intimate relationships with others.

Lead from God's Love for You

If you believe that you earned your standing before God, you will not know God or his love, and you will not pursue others with relentless devotion. But if you have experiential knowledge of God’s love, you will be more likely to have compassion for others and relentlessly love them, even if they do something harmful to you. 

7 [command] Beloved, let us love one another, [reason] for love is from God, and [resultant action] whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 [Warning] Anyone who does not love does not know God, [reason]because God is love. 9 [illustration] In this, the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. 10 [foundation] In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation [One who satisfied God] for our sins. 11 [Resultant Action] Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us, and his love is perfected in us...20 [reason] If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 [command] And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. (1 John 4:7-12, 20-21, emphasis added)

If you walk intimately with God, you will experience His love, and it will flow toward those you are leading. Love will change you and them.

A group of elders asked a woman battling a chronic disease for many years how she was handling her illness.  She tearfully shared her traumatic and prolonged journey. One leader interrupted her and proceeded to tell about a medical condition that he had experienced many years earlier. The group stared at him in shocked disbelief as he unwittingly hijacked the conversation and redirected it away from her and toward himself. He never acknowledged this woman’s emotional pain and openness in sharing it. He is a competent and caring man, but it’s unlikely he will be useful to the degree he could be unless he learns to exercise some emotional intelligence. Leaders who are unable to empathetically join in another person’s story—good or bad—will not influence at the deepest level. 

Improving Your EQ

Church leaders often lack an outlet to share their painful experiences. You will experience greater overall health when you can navigate your spiritual and emotional journey with others. Church leaders need a safe place to share their struggles. Those who have a coach, mentor, or friend with whom they can express their feelings will be holistically healthier. President Teddy Roosevelt said in 1917, in all places, The Ladies’ Home Journal, “Unless a man is master of his soul, all other kinds of mastery amount to little.^[2]

Sometimes highly educated leaders are perplexed as to why they do not experience the level of success they would like to see. They seem to lack the “right stuff” necessary for the outcomes they desire because of a relatively low EQ, not because of a low IQ or lack of experience. Influential leaders all have emotional intelligence (EQ). Knowledge (IQ) and technical skills are entry-level requirements. Emotional intelligence could be the missing ingredient of a successful leader. EQ is arguably twice as important as IQ and technical skills.^[3]  The exception to this is a person with highly technical skills like a brain surgeon.

Google revealed a shocking fact about its employees when it tested its hiring hypothesis since the company’s incorporation in 1998.^[4] It analyzed every bit and byte of hiring, firing, and promotion data through Project Oxygen. It shocked everyone. STEM—Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics—expertise came in dead last as the most important qualities of Google’s top employees.  The six characteristics of success at Google, according to this research, are all soft skills:

1. Coaching
2. Communicating and listening well
3. Possessing insights into others (including other different values and points of view)
4. Having empathy toward and being supportive of one’s colleagues
5. Being an excellent critical thinker and problem solver
6. Being able to make connections across complex ideas.^[5]

Church leaders must start with the gospel, but cannot neglect emotional intelligence because it makes the gospel proclamation and ministry to others even stronger. Below are the four aspects of emotional intelligence as it relates to the Bible. 

1. SELF AWARENESS

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned (Romans 12:3).

2. SELF MANAGEMENT

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24)

3. RELATIONAL AWARENESS

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14).

4. RELATIONAL MANAGEMENT

I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph 4:1-3).

What aspect do you need to focus on in this next season of ministry? 

--------------------

^[1] HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence (Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press, 2015), p. 1.

^[2] H. Paul Jeffers, The Bully Pulpit: A Teddy Roosevelt Book of Quotations (Lanham, MD: Taylor Trade Publishing, 2002), p. 22. Teddy Roosevelt, quoted in Ladies’ Home Journal, January 1917

^[3] Daniel Goleman, What Makes a Leader? (Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation, 2017), p. 7. 

^[4] Cathy N. Davidson, founding director of the Futures Initiative and a professor in the doctoral program in English at the Graduate Center, CUNY, and author of the book, The New Education: How to Revolutionize the University to Prepare Students for a World in Flux (Basic Books, 2017)

^[5] https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2017/12/20/the-surprising-thing-google-learned-about-its-employees-and-what-it-means-for-todays-students/?utm_term=.e7e5975b7224